Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Rioting A Medal Sport In Chicago Olympics?

According to Obama the economy is as bad as the Great Depression, our health care system sucks and chooses certain segments of society to die and business is the bane of freedom, so he is off to Denmark with Oprah to plead for the Olympic Committee to hold the Olympics in Chicago.

Chicago would bring a lot to the Olympics. A gold in arm-twisting would be headline stuff if a non-Chicagoan won, weightlifting over 300 pounds of cash in the snatch category might only get one a bronze, but lying out of both sides of your mouth (in church) will get you a silver.

Forget golf unless the clubs are larger and sharpened at one end, forget ball room dancing unless beating your partner to death is included, forget cricket unless the bats have nails and the gloves have brass knuckles and darts is just too tame.

Rioting! That's the ticket. Gangs competing for gold by beating one another to death. Though hard to differentiate from politics, rioting is a school sport.

4 Chicago Teens Charged in Beating Death (MyFox Phoenix)
Bolingbrook Student Stabbed
Loren-Maltese Talks About Life in Prison
Twelve Teens Face Felony Gang Charges (MyFox Atlanta)
Bolingbrook High School put on Lockdown After Stabbing
Teen Beaten To Death On South Side
Uptown Rioting Caught on Tape

Right now, relatively unknown Bolingbrook has moved to 5-2 odds for a place on the medal platform, but Obama may have secret plans in the works with Oprah as they jet to Denmark.

Maybe Fenger High School can send their worst. Maybe Obama wants Chicago Lab to bring their razor sharp fencing epees or the sailing team could lead their belaying pins.