Thursday, May 12, 2011

Did Osama Want To Destroy Small Towns And Cities In America?

It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was thinking of bombing and destroying small cities in America to force our military out of his cesspool. Well, we have a lot of small towns and cities in Ohio and it started me thinking.

Maybe Mexico, Ohio? If so, which one? The town of Mexico in Wyandot County, Ohio or the town of Mexico in Crawford County, Ohio? Maybe he wouldn't have targeted Mexico because they are looking for allies.

Maybe the little O didn't want to tick off the big O by bombing really big cities so bombing the little ones would still get big media coverage by luminaries in the media by asking Willy Bob Snotsnout about his blown up and dismembered pig Plato with the little woman, Wilma Hogg Snotsnout, in the background weepings while their adorable daughter Ima Hogg Snotsnout picks through the remains for a snack. Good imagery is beneficial to the story whether televised or written gloriously across the pages of the (safe for now) New York Times. There is no better imagery than that of ignorant and backward people savaged by a world they don't understand.

There are so many towns and small cities the little O could have picked.

Greasy Ridge
Bacon Flat
Skunk And Pigeye

I don't think he would have picked Paradise because, come on, how would it look to have solemn talking head with a picture of Ima's cousin, Ura Hogg, in the background saying, "Today, Paradise was destroyed."

How would Muslims worldwide react if the New York Times had a war banner headline blackly stating:

Bin Laden Destroys Paradise

Personally, and if I were little O, I would go after Bangs, Ohio because I got a ticket for not stopping for a light there and when I explained to the judge that Bangs didn't have a light I was found in contempt and fined for both charges.

Maybe little O is po'd that we decided to attack a small village in Pakistan.