Monday, August 13, 2007

John Edwards Got Permission From Wife to Be Pointed and Witty Today

Edwards Statement on the Resignation of Karl Rove

Chapel Hill, North Carolina – John Edwards today released the following
statement in reaction to President Bush’s announcement that his senior advisor,
Karl Rove, will resign at the end of the month:

"Goodbye, good riddance."

Come on John, can't you channel Karl's inner-child for a more meaningful comment? I know you usually make the big bucks for channeling, especially children, but you're rather lame here.

"Goodbye, good riddance." ?

Where is the pathos? We can all get to the logic and character subjects later, but dude, you have to sink your teeth into this pathos as an opening salvo. Where's the passion? If voters are a jury, you just tanked in the court of public opinion. Keep this up and there is no second mansion in DC waiting for you.

Rove? He is the dark lord of the other America that you saw when no one else did. Rove personally oversaw the forced poverty that crushed the hope of that America of ever having a mansion with an inside basketball court.

Rove? He was the evil man that personally stole your chance to really make two Americas in that election. Because of Rove you have had to get $400 haircuts in leased jets instead of Air Force II. That's gotta sting.

Rove? He personally planted Melissa and Amanda just to make you look bad. Come on, you know it. I mean what liberal would make vulgar, bigoted and anti-semantic statement? See, I told you. Rove. You gotta believe man. Give me an amen.

"Goodbye, good riddance." ?

Come on John, step up to the plate, wipe the hair outta your eyes and dig deep. (remember, pathos!).


Bill Plante Dumber Than A Potted Plant

Bill Plante's Having None of This Garden Party

As Karl Rove embraced President Bush today following an emotional
farewell announcement on the South Lawn, the solemnity of the moment was
shattered by Bill Plante of CBS, who bellowed to Bush: "If he's so smart, how
come you lost Congress?"

Besides being a rude little liberal, Plante also manages to show just how unqualified he is to be reporting on politics. No doubt that's why CBS hired him.



I'm pretty sure if this was Laura Bush this picture would have gotten a tad more play.

Anti-Surgists Insurgents Still Make Provinces Dangerous

Though there has been an excess of attacks creating massive press coverage, the surge against the surge in Iraq appears to have failed, at least for now. Through attacks in major metropolitan areas such as LA, New York and especially Washington DC the rebels and their allies in the press had hoped to galvanize a majority of citizens to ignore reality and turn against further military involvement in Iraq. Even though the surge appears to have faltered, critics point to weak government progressiveness and an ineffectual political process by the American Congress as the likely culprit.

Despite critics, Congress went on a month long vacation after failing to reconcile partisan differences and to address the unwillingness of different factions to work together to form a functioning coalition that could drive the government to make some identifiable progress. Many Representatives of the far left coalition have stopped even appearing to work with Congressional leaders further opening a deep rift among anti-surge surgists pointing out that attacks against the administration have increased almost daily and the administration is unable to stop them pointing to a need for a new direction in Washington.

Leading anti-surge Democrat Rep. John Murtha of the Pennsylvania province has recommended that redeploying pro-surge surgists to a neutral corner could clear the way to “real political” progress in the fight. Anti-surge surgists point to the current administration’s continual need to address the realities of Iraq as proof that the surge has failed.

“The administration is aggressively engaged in shifting (public) attitudes. And our side has been less aggressive than it needs to be,” said Democratic pollster Celinda Lake. “The administration has been making inroads on their Iraqi argument, particularly linking it to terrorism.”

Others in the anti-surge surge coalition have aggressively grasped for the gravitas needed to make failure a reality. Noting the public’s uneasiness with facts, Illinois province Sen. Dick Durbin, the second-ranking Democrat in the anti-surge surge coalition, said Wednesday, “As our coalition show some progress, the government of this nation is moving in the opposite direction. This is really unsustainable with the American people.”

Many anti-surgists have pointed to the provinces, such as the uncontrollable corn-belt provinces, as dangerous and out of control. “We’ve failed miserably there. Those provinces are lost,” stated an anonymous aide, but they noted some success in urban areas such as Chicago, but admitting that Kansas City was lost, stating, “It will always be the wild west out there. What are you going to do?”

Michael Flourney, a former Pentagon defense strategist and now president of the Center for a New American Security, said that “The clock in Washington is running down pretty fast. There’s sort of a wall next March-April.” Bush recently extended tours of duty from 12 months to 15 months and the anti surge surgists were impotent to get a surge against the surge up and running.

Loren Thompson of the Lexington Institute, a Virginia-based think tank that follows defense issues, cites “significant progress” on the pro-surge front noting that, “There’s a backlash” against the anti-surge surgists noting a lessening of attacks in the belt around Washington, DC.

“The problem is that nobody in the United States sees any significant progress on the political front. The factions in the government don’t seem to be able to get along. And that makes Congress wonder whether we’re making any real progress. Because, even with better security, the country can’t figure out how to take care of itself.”

Reports from the capitol and from various provinces, including Massachusetts, California and Oregon have shown that anti-surge surgists and allied insurgents plan a “long hot August” culminating in massive attacks prior to General Petraeus’ testimony concerning the surge. A spokesperson for a small but violent group named Surge Haters In Texas, stated “Patraeus is a lackey for the administration and they have gone to great lengths to kill Iraqi freedom fighters just to make this surge look successful. We’re not buying that shit.”