Thursday, December 18, 2008

Obama Court Jester, "Blago The Fool", To Bite Back

As the cast of Obama's new musical comedy "Just Guys In The Neighborhood" continues to grow, his friend Blago The Fool is attempting a backstage coup to take the lead role.

Blagojevich strikes back
Disgraced Gov. Rod Blagojevich joked and jogged in his Chicago neighborhood Wednesday and vowed to tell his side of the story soon, while his attorney tore into impeachment-minded state lawmakers trying to force the governor out of a job.

Outside the governor's home on Chicago's Northwest Side, Blagojevich promised a very public re-emergence soon.

"I can't wait to begin to tell my side of the story and to address you guys and most importantly the people of Illinois, that's who I'm dying to talk to," Blagojevich said before heading out for a morning jog. "There's a time and place for everything. That day will soon be here."

A Tribune photographer later spotted Blagojevich jogging, and the governor said he runs for exercise, to clear his head and because "it keeps love in your heart."

After turning down offers to be a vice presidential candidate and the Pope of Chicago, Blago sees his future as a singer as his most advantageous and profitable avenue.

Cast members already named are:

Jeremiah Wright as the delightful Vicar of Venom
Tony Rezko in a dual role as the Bagman and the Singing Realtor
Rita Rezko as the gardener Green Fingers
Nadhmi Auchi as bumbling Banker
Aiham Alsamarrae as the Electric Grifter
Daniel T. Frawley as the Commissioner
William Ayers as the rich boy bomber Fingers The Weatherman
Rashid Khalidi as Screecher the Preacher
Louis Farrakhan as Bowtie
Michael Louis Pfleger as Phlegm
David Axlerod as the Professor
Emil Jones Jr as the Godfather

Land Speed Record

The First Land Speed Record
Source: Photo Courtesy of Thrust SCC Programme LTD.(9/15/2005)

On December 18th, 1898 Count Gaston de Chasseloup-Laubat (the "Electric Count") set the world's first official land-speed record near Paris. The new record was set in his electric Jeantaud automobile at a hair-raising speed of 39.245mph (62.8 kph). The car employed a single electric motor and alkaline batteries. Many historians regard the Jeantaud to be the first automobile to be steered by a modern steering wheel instead of a tiller.

Whatever the case, the Jeantaud remains and will always be the first automobile to set an official land speed record.

Unfortunately for our "Electric Count," the record would last just a few days before it would fall to a faster electric vehicle.