Eric Holder's DOJ, HHS, ACORN, SEIU, UAW, AFL-CIO, GM, NAMBLA & PETA have joined forces to file charges ranging from election fraud to civil rights hate crimes for the resurrection of a midget army of Republican zombies trying to sway the mid-term elections. A PETA spokes thing wept as it described the average Republican zombie as 3' in stature with a telltale cigarette hanging from its lips and almost always wearing the mangled fur of a dead animal, "From a distance they look like full grown country club members. They are frightening," it averred, "and they run in packs near neighborhoods most negatively affected by George W. Bush. If their CC bosses hadn't fought Health Care Reform we could have helped them."
A spokesman for the midgets, known as Chairman Short, responded, "This is racism. We are not a condition. We do not choose to be what we are. We were born this way and are damned proud of it." As reporters shouted more questions Chairman Short stomped on his spent Lucky Strike, straightened his 'Coolidge for President' button and faded into a strange swirling mist.
