Friday, November 23, 2007

Gore Kills Tweety Bird

Emory building draped in black to save birds

Many crash into environmentally friendly design with soaring glass windows

It is one of Emory University's most environmentally friendly buildings, a
hallmark of the institution's efforts to "go green." To hear John Wegner
describe it, it's also a slaughterhouse.

The soaring glass windows in Emory's Mathematics and Science Center reflect
the woodsy view, confusing hapless birds who smash into it at full speed.

"The building killed 60 birds in the first year," said Wegner, Emory's
chief environmental officer. "It was the wall of death."
Al "Baby Boom Boom" Gore just wasn't happy making us spend thousands of dollars more for environmentally safe washers and dryers that don't work nor is Al, aka Sylvester, sorry for getting us addicted to his world wide Internet; now he's upsetting nature and endangering whole segments of birdom.

Proposed memorial to Tweety outside of Emory's Mathmatics and Science Center

Officials were unable to pinpoint exactly when Tweety "bought the farm", but he's wittle body is expected to be found among the victims of the "Green massacre":
Turns out, environmentally friendly buildings are often bird killers.

Ornithologist Daniel Klem, a professor at Muhlenberg College in
Pennsylvania who has studied the problem for decades, said between 100 million
and 1 billion birds die in the United States each year in collisions with
Repeated phone calls to President Gore have not been returned. PETA and ASPCA spokesman Elmer Fudd was out of the office, but issued a statement referring to "inconvienent truths" that his reported hunting habits might include roadkill and unintended "healthy building" death collateral.

Miracles Do Happen


Ohio State is moving towards a possible national championship. Of course if top rated teams keep losing, OSU might play the team from Columbus School for Girls for the national championship. You can thank the moronic geniuses that came up with the BCS system.

Hearth & Home Okay For Now In California

California continues to lead the way for those that have enough time on their hands to do nothing but waste ours.
Should fireplace fires be banned?

Under the auspices of the Bay Area Air Quality Management District, "public
hearings" are being held to determine the fate of the family hearth.

For urban Californians I guess the family hearth has no value anymore because the traditional family (as sociologists like to call us) is dying. At least it appears so on the left coast. Now even children are a menace to mother earth and her knighted protectors. This is known as the 'save the earth by saving a tree, thus not using diapers because you killed the baby' method.

Ergo, no need for that messy old hearth thing.

Pre-Nursing Home Fringe Nuts Of The Left

California Dem Party meltdown over Feinstein censure attempt
The nutroots are unhinged over Calif. Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s recent votes to confirm Bush attorney general Michael Mukasey and federal appeals court judge Leslie Southwick. Far left members of the Democrat Party in the Golden State attempted to introduce a censure measure over the weekend. It failed, but the rabid liberal base of the Democrat party has only just begun. The “Courage Campaign” is chaired by a HuffPo radical and counts among its partners, “, Democracy For America, New Progressive Coalition,, CalPIRG, California Nurses Association, Common Cause, Brave New Films and Progressive Majority.” It’s a 527 with a Beverly Hills mailing address, purporting to represent the grass-roots, and it’s promising to be the California Democrats’ worst nightmare.
If these people continue to be California Democrats' nightmare that means they can't bring their nightmare to the rest of America which is why I hope they continue to implode.

I love the smell of nayplomb in the morning. It smells like victory.