Call France (A Reprint from February)

This was e-mailed to me by a politically moderate friend. He prefaced it with "Hell Yeah".

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nation s are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the cost s of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world countries and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mesamis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid par king tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to putem? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we 'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America.

Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
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Did Bush Use A Bic Or A Zippo To Start CA Fires?

Bush is blamed for global warming so the fires in California must be President Bush's fault.

Just ask Hysterical Harry Reid.

Just ask CNN.

Just ask George Carlin.

Just ask the ever brilliant Babs Boxer.

OOPS, it was arson, but that doesn't change a thing. It's still BusHitler's fault. He's so stupid he masterminded the whole thing to purposely destroy the planet just to make millions. Really. He did. A school teacher told me. Makes it so. Does too.
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In Maine Parents Too Stupid To Raise Children

How did we get to the point where schools, hospitals, medical personnel and government have decided that parents do not have the right to know facts, events and procedures about their children. Their underage children.

This idea was driven home by the school in Maine that wants to give birth control to 11 year old girls. Not women. Not young ladies. Girls. A proponent of this idea stated that this is no different than the practices of health care clinics all over the state that routinely treat under age children without their parents knowledge or that refuse to give the parents any information about results, diagnosis and treatment concerning their children.

BTW, the school nurse pushing contraceptives for eleven year old kids is married to the State Attorney General of the state of Maine. Conflict there?

Over the years I have been repeatedly told that I am not allowed to be privy to information about my children. When in public schools for undergraduate studies my children's well being or travails were none of my business when speaking with school officials. Even though I paid for my children's education when they attended college I was not allowed to be aware of their progress, at least by school officials. I was told that I could discuss it with my children.

How did we get to this point where local, state and federal officials are required to know information about our children, but as parents we are not to know, indeed, we are told it is not our right to know.

We're not smart enough to know what is right for our children and we are supposed to believe that bureaucrats that do not know our kids or us know what is best for all of us.

Now cometh our great mother Hillary to kick it up a notch.

Aren't we lucky? If it weren't for bureaucrats all the 11 year old children in Maine would be pregnant or parents. But they wouldn't have any rights.
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MoveOn.org Lies So Send Me Money!

MoveOn dot org produced one of the lowest forms of political advertising in which they combined the biggest lies they could think of to direct attention (and money, lots of it) to themselves through the same schlock shock theory of advertising that "Crazy Eddie" used to sell platters of music for years.

IF YOU THINK THE "BETRAY US" AD WAS A LIE AND BENEATH CONTEMPT SEND ME MONEY! NOW! LOTS OF IT.

IF MOVEON TOLD A LIE, THEN IT'S ME YOU CAN BUY!!!!

IF MOVEON DOT ORG LIED, IN MY HANDS YOUR TENS, TWENTIES AND FIFTIES WILL HAVE DIED!!!!! DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE DEATH OF YOUR HUNDREDS!

FUNDRAISER. FUNDRAISER. FUNDRAISER!

I AM USING MOVEON DOT ORG TO FUNDRAISE FOR ME! SEND IT IN. GO TO DADDY'S WALLET OR MOMMY'S PURSE AND TAKE THE GREEN STUFF OUT, PUT IT IN AN ENVELOPE AND SEND IT TO MEEEEEEEEEE! MRED WANTS YOUR CABBAGE.

Commentary: New questions raised on Google, MoveOn.org relationship

Oh, and Google, kiss my copyright ass.

PS, DEAR MOVEON DOT ORG, WISH YOU WERE HERE. PLEASE SEND MONEY!

Desiree Farooz Desires Pink Spotlight-Mohammed Not Happy

Protestor painted in 'blood' accosts Condoleezza Rice

A woman with her hands painted blood-red confronted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the US Congress Wednesday, shouting "war criminal" before being hauled away by Capitol security.

Desiree Farooz accosted Rice ahead of her appearance at a House of Representatives hearing on US foreign policy, waving her hands just centimeters (inches) from the diplomat's face inside the committee meeting room as television cameras captured the confrontation.

"The blood of millions of Iraqis is on your hands," Farooz shouted, before police wrestled her away.

Several other people, members of the anti-war activist group Code Pink, were subsequently ejected from the room.

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When are the grownups going to show for these debates. I mean childish behavior and street theatre went out in the 70's. Now it's just embarrassing, especially when a grown woman who wants to be den mother for a bunch of Code Pink losers (via Classical Values)decides to confront a member of the administration with fake blood and lies. Desiree's hubby ain't too happy about her living arrangements, in fact Mohammed is "not happy". Damned women won't stay in their place.

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If you really want to sink your teeth into what the wacko left is thinking go to Randi Rhodes site and read what they're saying. It is a hoot. Watch your step though, Bloody Mary may trip you up.

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