Didn't VW have a Kennedy car ad about floating?
Friday, November 27, 2009
Here in East Anglia, where a simple look out the window shows that it is a blistering 70 degrees, we are contemplating our next move to save polar bear cubs from the wrath of capitalism and its scourge of man made global warming.
It must be stated clearly that our community should invite open debate concerning global warming, our models for projecting said destruction of our planet and, most importantly, just how stupid the deniers are and their inability to see that we are right and accurate in our ability to foresee the total destruction of civilization just so these losers can enjoy transportation and their smug and warm cozy little cottages.
Our esteemed colleague, Joe Goebblins, has placed before the Committee of Scientific Excellence a suggestion that we "prove" to thermometer companies that their measuring devices are at least .o6 degrees cooler than the actual temperature we have calculated. A second was made and furthered that a mechanism such as a COLA should be incorporated into their future models reflecting the warming of ambient temperatures worldwide. Said COLA would use our accurate modeling to indicate just how much the "real" temperature will rise in any given year based on the increased funding necessary to fend off the nearing Apocalypse Soon our earth is facing.
It is our belief that the above stated goals and our "open" and "honest" debate with dissenters will not only win them over with an added bonus that every time a dissenter is proven batshat crazy the media will spread the word, thus placing our "science" in the proper perspective for the world to see and feel awe that their scientific community has once again stepped up to the plate of saving human salvation.
Yours in brotherhood,
Wanker the Weatherman
PS Tell those clowns in Colorado that if they muck this up again that they WILL NOT be allowed to publish their rubbish in the next edition of "Can't See The Climate For The Weather". That should shut their yaps. Just make sure the emails are deleted this time, capiche?