Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nana Arugula To Squash Restaurant Rights

Having worked in numerous restaurants I know that having a full dining room night after night is no sign that restaurateurs know what people need. It is a sign of what they want. Or so they think.

Next, Michelle Obama's health reform plan for the nation's restaurant menus and families dining out

Okay, let's start a short list:

Heat and air conditioning is bad for us, especially the way we like to use them.
They cars and trucks we like are just no good for us.
We should know that we would like to drive to California rather than fly. Walking would be even better for us.
Our houses are bad for us and Mother Gaia.
Seat belts aren't just for people. They're for dummies like you which is why you're getting a ticket dummy.
If you don't know what a “Body Mass Index” is, then you'll be paying us fatty
Kids on bikes without helmets means fork over you fine. Your kids will thank us.
Sure it's your house, but light up and bingo, you guessed it, pay up.
Like a drink? Oh wait, we tried that.
You want to do what on your property? I don't think so. Not until government approves it. Yep, you have to pay for that approval.
As parents we should know that government knows what our children need to be taught. So, let us all shut up.
Salt? Fries? Burgers? Oh, shut up. Because government said so.

Maybe Michelle should start at home. With arugula.

Maybe her husband should start here in America by realizing we are a nation of rights, not a nation of subjects tearfully thanking the government for nursing us. If he wants to protect us he might start at the borders and in terrorist territories around the world and leave us alone to build a better America one idea at a time.