Things to tell al Qaeda
1 Where the pork rinds are hidden
2 Where you haven’t hidden your 72 virgins
3 You Carlton Sheets password and success stories
4 The exact nature of religious inequity in your hometown as you perceive it and how you’ll fix it. Trust me, they’ll want to know
5 Kenneth’s frequency, but only if you really know you know it
6 The ending to the movie “Alamo”
7 Elvis’ personal phone and cell number
8 George W. Bush’s official address
9 Your “it always works” cure for hiccups
10 What women think
Things not to tell al Qaeda
1 How we are killing them
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