Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Letters From bin Laden

Bin Laden alive, wrote to me, Taliban leader says

Well, Mr Big Shot, Osammy wrote me too.

We've been staying in a pretty nice cave here in the Pamirs. It's nice
in the summer, but by Allah the winters really suck. If you think dialysis is a
prob in your cushy little Satan cell try it at 50 below with nothing but a Yeti
gussied up in lipstick to keep you warm.

Speaking of cells, I was having a little pep talk with Bakht Mohammad the other
day. Boy, (oops shouldn't say that) do I miss Dadullah. That was one ass-kickin mujahid. Too bad some weak tool of Satan turned him into a grease spot. So, Bakht Mohammad is telling me all about his big plans. Oy, that Mashugina is dumber than pajama boy (oops again), Abedinejad. Pelosi? Murtha? My you-know-what has more brain power than both of those Satans put together. One's dumber than a box of rocks and the other is 72 short of Heaven.

Democrats schemocrats. Pigs and monkeys. Useful, but oh so haram. If they
really want to help me, they could come clean (pun, get it?) and send us guns
and money. Yeah, then we'll let Allah deal with them last.

Gotta go, we're off for higher climes. Never know about the "people"
around here. Satan's money, you know. In fact Zawahri has been acting funny lately, whispering into his cell phone and when I ask him about it, he starts with the "secret plans" crap about dealing with the infidels. Oh, and don't get me started about that Jamil. I got his beautiful right here if you know what I mean.

Hasta la vista by Allah's will and so forth,