Wednesday, May 09, 2007

OSU Continues Descent Into Loss Column

Bill Clinton to give commencement address at Ohio State University.
50% of coeds flee campus, Kohl's sells out entire stock of blue dresses in hours

After eight years of brilliant leadership, both politically and morally, Bill Clinton brings his "walk on water" agility to Columbus, Ohio.

One graduating student (not my son. honest) stated that it's a good thing he's still suffering from a massive hangover from a Gator stomping (pick one) and will probably sleep through the whole event.

OSU President Holbrook was quoted "President Clinton is a prominent leader with extraordinary insight into the issues that our graduates will face, and I'm sure his words will be an inspiration." In fact, Holbrook is so tickled with Cinton's appearance that she blushing scarlet. It is the first time she has been observed wearing the school colors.

Student reactions ranged from yawning to, well, yawning. "I think he's a good choice for the speaker, maybe he'll play his saxophone"said student Chelsea Johnson. "I like Bill. He'll be better than Bush"thought Jordan Rivchun, senior, criminology, who has a complete file on Clinton that he used for his "Deviant Behavior" class.


These people knew in advance that Billy "Bubba" Clinton was coming? Premonition? I think not.

Smoker's Haven stocking special "aromatic" cigars.