Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Edwards for President

My vote in the primary would have to go for Edwards. That is since Kucinich's thing isn't going anywhere.


Edwards know the quality of a good haircut, but hasn't a clue about any cost/benefits idea as long as it looks pretty. That, my dear people, just screams Congress and big government bureaucracy. What a pretty ménage à trois.

Edwards is a fast learner. In just a few years he has made Kerry's flip-flopping look small and using that cost/benefit thingy, Edwards has gold plated his flip-flops which makes them look prettier.

Edwards knows economics better than us. He blackmailed large corporations into paying his clients huge sums of money, got his beak wet channeling dead children for a part of the payoff and then invested it in off shore hedge funds which invested it in pirate loot making even more money. That is really understanding how an economy works!

Edwards understands the issue of poverty. For $55,000 he'll clue you in.

Edwards understands family values. Between the pools and the basketball court he has been able to grasp the real meaning of hearth and home. The indoor pool was just the right temperature. Edwards is modest enough not to reveal whether his grasp was grasped at the DC mansion or the one in NC.

Edwards has a fair tax plan for both Americas. He also has one for himself in the Cayman Islands with his pirate loot. To him that is fair.

Edwards will defend America best. To pay tribute to America's fallen soldiers he advises people to make signs with “SUPPORT THE TROOPS - END THE WAR” and display them along local parade routes for veterans. Oh, and take lots of digital pictures so he can display them on his website.

This is just a short list of why I support Edwards, Democrat, for President. He is our regular Joe Democrat. Just like his regular Joe Democrat peers in Congress, he's wealthy, a partisan hack, a flip-flopper extraordinaire, is better than us, knows more than us and is just pompous enough to explain our ineptness at understanding the American Dream.

If only Kucinich had had the foresight to screw people for his way to wealth, he now could rent Edwards as his Mini-Me, but, ah, there is still hope for an Edwards Kucinich ticket. I feel vapors coming on.