Mailbu Evening News

At a time of shameless pandering to neo-con wannabes, the Bush
administration has sunk to new lows. In an effort to give false hope to the
average working person, oil prices have dropped to its lowest level in 20 months as local temperatures dramatically dropped.

“It’s suspicious to me,” stated Cindy Vacuine of Malibu, CA, “ I mean, I think they’ve tied gas glutting to their effort to screw with global warming warnings”, this in reference to snow falls throughout the normally placid area.

One celebrity’s eloquent rage was controlled. “We built this beautiful structure to resemble a Japanese tea house” said Christian Love, while sadly looking at his 5 car garage with the rice paper roof sagging sadly in the cold. “That manipulating bastard sits in Washington, just toying with us. We know the truth. Cold weather like this and he thinks cheap gas is going to decoy us?”

Personal investment counselor, Consuello Vincente Fox, IV said “I came up with the formula for cold sore makeup. I know how to disguise truth from the people! My Uncle may have fooled the President, but he can’t fool me.” Fox is in town to hold therapy sessions for people that have had to juggle heat bills and the tragic conflict in the Middle East. “How can we have lower costs for petroleum as soldiers ravage the
land above it and how can it be snowing as Mother Earth is suffering the aches,
pains and fevers of humans ravaging her beautiful face? Someone is lying and we
all know who.”

“This is not childless policy making without consequences.” stated Sen. Barbara Boxer. “Who is responsible and who is going to pay for lower gas prices and the lower cost of home heating fuel as this cold kills innocent Latino babies in our major California cities? The rich can go to their offices and schools to stay warm and avoid the horrors of snow, but we, the working people, must once again suffer the bad management of global warming by politicians in Washington that just want to keep their names in the news!” as her staff swept her off to for a flight to meet with President Bush to voice her concerns.

Tomorrow: 75 degrees and sunny.

Next, urban fashion and Canadian Health Care and you.